About a year ago, I was falling in love with this person who seemed too far away to reach.
Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you. And I wish on a star that somewhere you are thinking of me too.
I never though he'd feel the same way as I did for him. Maybe it was because he didn't let his guard down and tried to tell me or show me how he felt at that time. Under the circumstances, it really wasn't the right time. Until the first date came, which was technically not really a date. It didn't really feel like a date. It felt more of like two new friends who were just hanging out, without the awkwardness.
Coz I'm dreaming of you tonight 'til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight. And there's nowhere in the world I's rather be than here in my room dreaming of you endlessly
Weeks passed by, my feelings for him grew, until I found myself falling helplessly in love with him. Though I knew that he knew that I liked him more than a friend would, the awkwardness never really came. We just felt comfortable in each other's company. I spent a lot of sleepless nights thinking of the possibility that we'd be together. The longing for him grew stronger as days passed by.
I just want to hold you close but so far, all I have are dreams of you. So I wait for the day to have the courage to say how much I love you.
Even as we went on our first official date, when we had our first kiss, I was still clueless about what he really felt for me. It was clear for me though that I was falling in love with me. Still, I remained unassuming, feeling like it was nothing, that that kiss was just a spur of the moment thing.
Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you. And I still can't believe that you came up to me and said "I love you too"
That night was truly magical for me. I felt like I was never going to let go of him. It all felt like a dream and I didn't want to wake out. I heard the words, I saw it in his eyes, I felt it in his arms. Right then and there, I knew that I was never going to let go.
Now I'm dreaming with you tonight, 'til tomorrow and for all of my life. and there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be than here in my room dreaming with you endlessly.
I know that if I let go now, I will never ever feel this anymore; I'll never feel this joy and happiness anymore. I know that this will be worth the wait, this is worth the sacrifice, this will last a lifetime.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
The Invitation
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Thank You
You are the force that keeps me going, the hope that gives me strength, the love that keeps me alive. Thank you for keeping me sane when the world tries to be crazier than us. Thank you for loving me in a way no other individual has.
You are the love I never thought I wanted. Thank you.
You are the love I never thought I wanted. Thank you.
My Heart Will Go On
I love you. I love your smile and the way you make me laugh. I love your sense of humor and the way you make me smile. I love your hands and the way you hold mine. I love your arms and the way you hold me close. I love your eyes and the way you look at me. I love your heart and the way you send shivers down my spine every time you tell me that you love me. I love your shirt and the way it clings to my skin. I'll make every part of you happy each single day.
Because you make me happy. So much.
Because you make me happy. So much.
This is for You
There are a million important things to do. But none as important as lying here next to you.
I'll understand your silence. Because sometimes, you'll have to understand mine.
You are a drop of perfect in an imperfect world. And all I need is a taste.
If our arms aren't strong enough, we'll rip the roof off with our hearts. If the road is dark, our dreams will light the way. If there isn't space in the back, we'll make space in our hopes. Pack a bag with everything you want to keep and leave the rest behind. Because I'm coming to pick you up.
We're a city of aliens. Pretending to be people we're not until we're comfortable enough with each other to be who we are. So only you know who I am.
I don't know if you felt that or not.
But it felt like two people kissing after hours of thinking about it.
It felt like two people talking after nights of silence.
It felt like two people touching after weeks of being numb.
It felt like two people facing each other after months of looking away.
It felt like two people in love after years of being alone.
It felt like two people meeting each other, after an entire lifetime of not meeting each other.
You and I collide, like atoms in a scientist's wet dreams. We could start a new universe together. We could mix like a disease. And if we do, I hope we never get better.
To wake up next to you. And confirm that the images I saw on the back of my eyelids seconds before, have all been made real.
Look at you, like a new tattoo. Because I might not always have you but I'll have the feeling of you for the rest of my life. (might not is the operative word. hehe)
That's why I love madness. It's easy to lose your mind when you lose your heart.
You and I, we're special because of each other. In spite of loneliness.
Love, the words may be borrowed, but the sentiment is all mine...
I'll understand your silence. Because sometimes, you'll have to understand mine.
You are a drop of perfect in an imperfect world. And all I need is a taste.
If our arms aren't strong enough, we'll rip the roof off with our hearts. If the road is dark, our dreams will light the way. If there isn't space in the back, we'll make space in our hopes. Pack a bag with everything you want to keep and leave the rest behind. Because I'm coming to pick you up.
We're a city of aliens. Pretending to be people we're not until we're comfortable enough with each other to be who we are. So only you know who I am.
I don't know if you felt that or not.
But it felt like two people kissing after hours of thinking about it.
It felt like two people talking after nights of silence.
It felt like two people touching after weeks of being numb.
It felt like two people facing each other after months of looking away.
It felt like two people in love after years of being alone.
It felt like two people meeting each other, after an entire lifetime of not meeting each other.
You and I collide, like atoms in a scientist's wet dreams. We could start a new universe together. We could mix like a disease. And if we do, I hope we never get better.
To wake up next to you. And confirm that the images I saw on the back of my eyelids seconds before, have all been made real.
Look at you, like a new tattoo. Because I might not always have you but I'll have the feeling of you for the rest of my life. (might not is the operative word. hehe)
That's why I love madness. It's easy to lose your mind when you lose your heart.
You and I, we're special because of each other. In spite of loneliness.
Love, the words may be borrowed, but the sentiment is all mine...
Crazier
When the world is just too much for me to bear,
when people around me try to be crazier than we are,
when life has taken its toll on me,
I just lie down in your arms and everything becomes alright.
when people around me try to be crazier than we are,
when life has taken its toll on me,
I just lie down in your arms and everything becomes alright.
Lost for Words
I'm still smiling, and it's all your fault. And you know that I've been having a difficulty smiling these days. You just made my day. You really are an angel, my angel.
For THE loved one
"We don’t have to be lovers in this lifetime. Just promise me I would be yours in another. Let’s fall in love before time has had its first forever,before infinite runs out of numbers, and before life ever knew of the word never."
Sonnet 17
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz
or the arrows of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms,
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest in my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
or the arrows of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms,
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest in my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
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